Blotter: 2011's Strangest Reports

It’s that time of year again: time to tally up the fanciful, strange and sometimes unnecessary reports that have come across the desks of so many a police officer here in South City this year. From angry opossums to suspicious neighbors and one man fearing the wrath of a woman scorned, here’s our countdown of 2011’s most baffling police reports.

10. Monday, August 8

1:21am  At IHOP on South Airport Boulevard, two males and a female reportedly sat down to look at menus, but left without ordering anything. The trio instead stole a neon “Miller Genuine Draft” sign off the restaurant’s wall and took off in a dark colored Saturn.

9. Friday, March 4

1:00am  Employees at Motel 6 on Mitchell Avenue called police about a guest who was drunk and in his underwear in the hotel lobby.

8. Monday, July 11

10:37pm  Police referred to the SPCA after receiving a report that an opossum was in a resident’s garage and was not leaving. The residents reportedly tried to shoo it out but the animal growled at them.

7. Monday, December 5

10:45pm  Officers sent a cover unit to Kipling Avenue, where a resident reported that her neighbor used a jack to attempt to move her rental car without her permission.

6. Wednesday, December 21

2:26pm  Police received a report from a resident on Clay Avenue who was complaining that someone left an open jar of mayonnaise on the home’s front porch and it seemed suspicious to the resident.

5. Tuesday, July 5

10:02pm  A caller from Cortesi Avenue reported finding a webcam in one of her bathroom vents. The caller, who said that she and her parents own the home, did not know who put it there.

4. Wednesday, February 9

12:05pm  A man staying at Motel 6 on Mitchell Avenue called police complaining that two prostitutes, who were also staying there, stole $200 out of his pants pockets while he was in the shower. The man claimed that he did not owe them the money.

3. Saturday, May 7

6:13pm  Police made an arrest at Industrial Hotel on Cypress Avenue after a client reportedly approached the front desk asking for his “meth spoon” back.

2. Wednesday, February 2

7:21am  On Longford Drive, a resident called police saying that he had met a girl at a bar the previous night and brought her home, but that now she was refusing to leave. He wanted officers to help remove her so that he could leave for work.

1. Tuesday, September 20

2:01pm  Police received a call from Duval Drive from a man who said that his wife had just caught him cheating and wanted officers to meet him at their home because he was worried what she may do with the loaded guns he kept there.