The Daddy Diaries: Occupy Christmas

Every year it's the same: I wake up on Dec. 26 feeling fat, broke, exhausted, and (honestly) a little depressed. Amidst piles of wrapping paper and half-eaten fruit cake, I'm left wondering, What was that all about?

But not this year! It's time for a change. It's time for a yuletide revolution. It's time to say "enough is enough" with all the over-eating, over-spending, and over-stressing that comes along with this time of year. It's time to Occupy Christmas! 

And I certainly don't mean to "occupy" the season with doing more, but rather to be occupied with doing less. Is it possible that, rather than filled with noise and stress, December could actually be the quietest and most restful month of the year?

I believe it can, and, in light of recent events, I'm inspired to see that I am the 99%. Therefore this holiday season I will refuse 99% of the cookies, cakes, and candy canes offered to me; I will not attend 99% of the parties, pageants, and plays to which I'm invited; and I will only shop at the 99-cent store.

Now I don't mean to sound like Ebenezer Scrooge about this as I really do like the Christmas season—the lights, the music, the time with family are all very special to me. But it's all the commercial nonsense and the unhealthy baggage that leeches on to this holiday that really bothers me. And there's a growing sense of rebellion, especially now that I'm a dad, to not go along with things as normal. 

Part of what motivates this rebellion is plain necessity: I'm exhausted. December reveals, more than ever, that being a stay-at-home dad is not a sideshow to my life, but it is the main event. Before kids came along, I would be very involved with the Christmas preparations at our church or with attending holiday shows in the city, but right now taking care of a baby requires so much energy that, for the first time, I'm having to just say "no" to other things. It's a blessing in disguise.

But also with the responsibility of a new baby comes the resolve to establish new traditions for my family—traditions that don't have anything to do with Black Friday, or running around crowded department stores, or cursing at others in holiday traffic, or being on the "naughty list," or attending yet another gift exchange office party where you're tempted to eat more frosted peppermint egg nog brownies. 

And rather than a race to run up our credit cards and waistlines and blood pressure, what if we had traditions that actually brought a little more sanity and health and real joy to the season? 

One new tradition we started this year was to buy a 99-cent Advent calendar from Trader Joe's. The chocolate inside these things is nasty, but that's not the point. Each morning, with Gregory in our lap, my wife and I open a door on the calendar that counts down the days to Christmas, and we read from a little book that gives a short reflection on the meaning of the Nativity. These readings often springboard into some really nice conversation and encouragement before we head off into our day. It's simple, cheap, and beautiful—exactly what I want Christmas to be!

But this is only a start in what I know will be a challenge as the tide of materialism and busyness in our culture is very strong. The task to Occupy Christmas will not be easy and I would love to hear from others what traditions that have in their family to help keep Christmas special.

It's early and I'm sitting on the carpet with my son who is just learning how to crawl. It's still dark outside, the house is quiet, and the only light is the soft multi-colored glow of our Christmas tree. These moments are sweet and being able to introduce my son to his first Christmas is really cool. I laugh, however, when I consider that it took a baby to remind me that Christmas is actually about a baby: a young poor couple with their newborn son in a smelly barn on a clear starry night long ago. A silent night, a holy night; where all is calm, and all is bright.