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Health & Fitness

Serial Killer's Death Blamed on Ajax

Serial Killer’s Death Blamed on Ajax:  An attorney for imprisoned accused serial killer Izzy Ocampo said his client died after swallowing the bathroom cleanser Ajax.  Kind of makes you wonder if he was just trying to “come clean?” 

German Policeman Linked to Cannibalism:  A German police officer has been arrested and accused of killing and chopping up a man he met online who reportedly had fantasies about being killed and eaten.  So I’m guessing that the donuts alone just don’t “do it” for some cops in Germany.  One can only hope that police officials pay a little more attention next time one of their cops says he’s gonna “grill” a suspect.

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Couple Tries to Blow Up Vehicle with Tampons:  A Pennsylvania couple has been charged with attempted arson, public drunkenness, and criminal mischief for attempting to blow up a 2006 Ford Fusion by stuffing tampons in the gas tank and motor oil compartment and igniting them.  Police say that had the couple been successful, it could have easily turned into a blood-bath. 

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Georgia Man Shoots Wandering Elderly Man With Alzheimer’s:  A 34-year-old Walker County, Georgia man shot and killed a 72-year-old man he assumed was a prowler on his porch, but who turned out an elderly man with advanced Alzheimer's disease.  A check of local laws found that the only time its justified to shoot someone on your porch is when they’re Jehovah's Witnesses or possibly Girl Scouts -and then only if they happen to be out of those Thin Mints.  Police say the shooter made a terrible mistake in that he was obviously under the impression that he was living in Florida.  In his defense, the shooter told authorities that where he comes from, Alzheimer’s is nothing but another euphemism for “zombie.”

Denver Post Goes All Out to Cover Pot Legalization:  With the legalization of the sale of marijuana coming into effect on January 1st, Colorado appears to headed for an interesting year, with the Denver Post even hiring a “marijuana editor.”  They hired a marijuana editor?  And let me guess, his name is “Bud” and he just got out of the joint?  Post employees report that this is perhaps the first time they can recall that hiring one new person resulted in the installation of 75 new vending machines. 

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